exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
