I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
