Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
