How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
