I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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