so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Houston, we have a blender
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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