Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just want nice things and good sex
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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