just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
