I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
and you fell through a lawn chair
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
