I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
