my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
