perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
