somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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