I want to make a zoo with you.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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