i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
