that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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