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• (951): View more from California

  Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS

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• (817): View more from Texas

  We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.

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• (212): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.

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