Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
