That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
