oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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