Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
