My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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