I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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