K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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