porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
