did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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