sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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