i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Everclear isn't food dammit
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
