I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
