the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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