Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
