Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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