we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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