i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Randomize
