this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
