how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
