singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just want nice things and good sex
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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