Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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