Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
