Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
