Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
