Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
