take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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