this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
