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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox

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• (619): View more from California

  You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing

  (1-619): View more from California

  Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this

  (619): View more from California

  ...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once

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• (206): View more from Washington

  The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT

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