What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
