we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
