it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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