You can't special order awesome
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
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