Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
